Being an ass can land you in jail

Adam Reposa, an attorney in Austin, Texas, was held in contempt of court (sounds boring, but read on) and thrown in jail for 90 days for being an asshole. That link is an actual court decision, and as such, is very long and hard to get through without falling asleep. Here are the funny parts (by the way, the "applicant" is the attorney, Reposa):

In the contempt hearing, Judge Breland testified that, at this point, she saw the applicant "violently shaking his head while [she was] trying to talk to [his client]." The record of the proceedings reveals that this exchange followed:

JUDGE BRELAND: Mr. Reposa, I'm going to ask you, don't be distracting him, please -

REPOSA: Not trying to distract him.

JUDGE BRELAND: - when I am speaking to the defendant.

I am going to ask [Prosecutor] Swaim, who I am sure has reviewed this case, if Mr. Williams wanted to plead no contest today, what would the State ask for?

SWAIM: 30 days, court costs, lose driver's license for 90 days, minimum - for the record, Your Honor, Mr. Reposa continues to whisper in his client's ear while I am talking.

JUDGE BRELAND: Mr. Reposa, out of here. Right now. I saw what you did. That is contempt.

Can you guess what Reposa did? I didn't. But here we go:

According to Judge Breland's testimony, after Swaim had protested that the applicant continued to whisper in his client's ear,

[The applicant] was standing a couple of feet from the front of the bench and, very clearly, I could see his right hand at his - a few inches from his waist and his hand was in sort of a fist and he moved his hand very quickly up and down for maybe five times. And as he did that, his eyes were rolling . . . and he was looking at me.

Judge Breland further testified that she recognized this gesture as a simulated masturbation gesture.

You know, this would've probably been enough to land him a contempt charge without the eye contact. That part's just creepy. So there you have it. A fun, new way to be thrown in jail.