Gaaaahhhh
Class...boring...brain...shutting...down...
What's this? Distraction? Sweet.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
To the guy with the rolly backpack.
There's just something about running that makes most people look ridiculous. Maybe it's that they're not used to it and so they have no form, or maybe they're just doomed to hilarious running styles their entire lives. Either way, every time I see a grown person run, I laugh a little inside. Particularly funny, to me, is when the person lets his or her arms flail as if they're completely unaware that they even had arms.
Personally, I can only think of a handful of times in life where I was actually in a big enough hurry to run somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I probably look pretty ridiculous doing it, too. But my point is that, chances are, your life events are not nearly as urgent as you think they are. But please, keep running. It makes my day.
Personally, I can only think of a handful of times in life where I was actually in a big enough hurry to run somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I probably look pretty ridiculous doing it, too. But my point is that, chances are, your life events are not nearly as urgent as you think they are. But please, keep running. It makes my day.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Seriously.
People who ride bicycles, roll up your pant leg after you get off of your bike. You look like a douche.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Things that bug me.
Pubes in the urinals. (Sorry, ladies. You'll have to sit this one out.)
I go into the bathroom and there's pubes in the urinals. What's the f'ing deal, here? How does this come about? I've got my theories:
1) It's the work of a religious nut. There is a guy who, every time he pees, pulls out his pubes as if to atone for his past sins. This guy is relentless, pulling out at least 10 in any giving sitting. He then leaves them in the urinal to remind himself of his past crimes.
2) Some dude has problems unzipping. John Q. Longpubes can't unzip and pull out his junk without inadvertently ripping out his own body hair. He is too stunned to do anything with them but leave them where they fall. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a trim.
3) It's a terrible present. Just as your dog or cat will drag a dead bird into the house as a "gift" to you, this man leaves his pubes in the urinal as work of art for all to see. 20 years down the road, it turns out that he's the new Van Gogh.
4) God hates me. He knows that seeing ripped-out pubes in a public urinal will always make me gag. He divinely intervenes to set me up.
Seriously, now guys. How hard is it to keep your pubes to yourself? Work it out.
I go into the bathroom and there's pubes in the urinals. What's the f'ing deal, here? How does this come about? I've got my theories:
1) It's the work of a religious nut. There is a guy who, every time he pees, pulls out his pubes as if to atone for his past sins. This guy is relentless, pulling out at least 10 in any giving sitting. He then leaves them in the urinal to remind himself of his past crimes.
2) Some dude has problems unzipping. John Q. Longpubes can't unzip and pull out his junk without inadvertently ripping out his own body hair. He is too stunned to do anything with them but leave them where they fall. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a trim.
3) It's a terrible present. Just as your dog or cat will drag a dead bird into the house as a "gift" to you, this man leaves his pubes in the urinal as work of art for all to see. 20 years down the road, it turns out that he's the new Van Gogh.
4) God hates me. He knows that seeing ripped-out pubes in a public urinal will always make me gag. He divinely intervenes to set me up.
Seriously, now guys. How hard is it to keep your pubes to yourself? Work it out.
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