Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Conversation of the day
An excerpt from a conversation I had today where I was asking about a friend's relationship with her boyfriend:
Me: You two married yet?
Her: Not yet.
Me: Just waiting for the right pregnancy, I see.
Me: That romantic moment when you realize you don't have the guts to go through with an abortion.
Me: You two married yet?
Her: Not yet.
Me: Just waiting for the right pregnancy, I see.
Me: That romantic moment when you realize you don't have the guts to go through with an abortion.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Ricky Martin...gay?
Ricky Martin, seen here sporting a sleeveless, low-cut blouse, leather pants and multiple necklaces, recently announced that he is...gay?
This has got to be a blow to all those ladies out there who used to dream of his tight abs, which can be seen below as Ricky dances with a friend (perhaps celebrating the very essence of manhood?):
But, while I have no qualms with the homosexual community and embrace their quest for equality, who could honestly have predicted that Mr. La Vida Loca himself would turn out to be loco for hombres?
I guess I just don't see it.
This has got to be a blow to all those ladies out there who used to dream of his tight abs, which can be seen below as Ricky dances with a friend (perhaps celebrating the very essence of manhood?):
But, while I have no qualms with the homosexual community and embrace their quest for equality, who could honestly have predicted that Mr. La Vida Loca himself would turn out to be loco for hombres?
I guess I just don't see it.
Friday, March 19, 2010
An immortal jellyfish is gross forever
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
My bank gets lonely
The other day Chase sent me a new debit card, which had to be activated before I could use it. I called the activation phone number and it made me enter the 16-digit card number. Then...it was usable. No password...nothing. The sticker on the card said the card wasn't activated before I got it for my protection. Maybe the automated activation voice lady just needed to hear my sweet, sweet voice? Nice going, Chase.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I have decided that the "Blogs of Note" section on the main page
of blogger.com is filled predominately with blogs wherein ugly people type meaningless thoughts. The difference in mine? I'm a beautiful man.
Edit: Sound the alarm. I've used the word "blog" 3 times in one sentence. And now, 4 times in one post.
Edit: Sound the alarm. I've used the word "blog" 3 times in one sentence. And now, 4 times in one post.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Dear Law School and Related Organizations:
I am flattered that you have chosen me to hound with letter after letter gently hinting at the possibility of a contribution, but as it turns out, I've already given you A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS for an education that has rewarded me with two years of headaches and underpayment. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't choose to make a donation to your cause.
Love,
Me
Love,
Me
Monday, February 1, 2010
How to tell your new Facebook friend is an advertising ploy
1) You don't recognize them.
2) You have no friends in common.
3) They only have one picture.
4) Their wall is composed entirely of notices that they've added friends, and people asking, "Do I know you?"
5) All of their status updates are links to porn sites.
That last one is definitely the kicker. I'm on to you, social media marketers.
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