On the subject of chicken sammiches

A recent Burger King commercial sparked a debate (in my own head):

Would I rather be a chicken sandwich or a hamburger?

Pro-Chicken:

• Chicken is delicious
• You might not get eaten as often as a hamburger

Pro-Burger:

• Burgers are more popular
• You don't get stale as quickly as chicken sandwiches

In the end, though, I decided it best to remain human.

A stream of consciousness.

Wow, I’m so bored. I don’t think I could be any more bored. Could I be more bored? No. I don’t think I could. This professor has the most boring, monotone voice in the world. How did he make it this far in life being this boring? Who gave him a teaching position? Do they know how boring he is? How boring this class is? How bored I am? Jesus, I’m so bored that I’m actually feeling a bit angry over it. I’m paying $30k a year to be bored. I almost paid attention to what the professor was saying for about a minute. My brain turned to mush and I was immediately propelled back to not paying attention. Unattention? Disattention? Is there a word for the state of not paying attention? My brain isn’t working because I’m so bored. God, I’m bored.

Spicing it up.

Law books are so boring. Take a look at this boring book:



So how do we make them more interesting? Simple. One carefully placed exclamation mark:


Publishers of legal books, take note.

So I noticed you have a goatee.

Are you a professional baseball player? A count?

Then why?